So, metrosexual outfitters, Abercrombie & Fitch have decreed that they don't want anyone who isn't thin and beautiful shopping in their stores. Oooh! Get them!
Have you ever seen Mike Jeffries, the CEO? He looks like a man who has voluntarily chosen to wear his own Spitting Image mask, rather than parade his actual face out in the world. Quite apart from the fact that Mr Jeffries is neither thin nor beautiful, isn't he cutting off his own (rubber) nose to spite his face with this particular edict?
Think, for example, about all those Elton John-types who are simply desperate to buy their Puerto Rican pool boy a towering stack of A&F gear. Nope, sorry! By rote of the new rules, they wouldn't even get a velvet monogrammed slipper over the threshold of the shop, much less be permitted to lighten their elephant-skin wallet of thwacking great wads of cash.
Lucked out there, Mike, you'll have to fund your next ridiculous set of piano-like veneers from ever-dwindling funds trickling through your cash registers as large sections of the buying public (also known as "customers", by the way) realise just what a thoroughly ludicrous brand A&F really is. Hopefully, anyhow.
Personally, I'm seriously considering a bit of brand reverse psychology in a similar vein by squeezing myself into a horrendous candy pink Juicy Couture two-piece and hot footing to their HQ. Once there, I'll get settled into their, undoubtedly chavtastic, reception area and start quoting gushing spigots of Balzac and resolutely refuse to drop my H's until they throw me out on the street and ban me from wearing their gear ever again.
I can see the headlines now: "Juicy Couture in Culture Shock: woman arrested for crimes against velour".
Ah, it'll never happen... I could no more pick up my H's than fit my arse into a pair of Abercrombie and Fitch cut-downs. Bah!
Have you ever seen Mike Jeffries, the CEO? He looks like a man who has voluntarily chosen to wear his own Spitting Image mask, rather than parade his actual face out in the world. Quite apart from the fact that Mr Jeffries is neither thin nor beautiful, isn't he cutting off his own (rubber) nose to spite his face with this particular edict?
Think, for example, about all those Elton John-types who are simply desperate to buy their Puerto Rican pool boy a towering stack of A&F gear. Nope, sorry! By rote of the new rules, they wouldn't even get a velvet monogrammed slipper over the threshold of the shop, much less be permitted to lighten their elephant-skin wallet of thwacking great wads of cash.
Lucked out there, Mike, you'll have to fund your next ridiculous set of piano-like veneers from ever-dwindling funds trickling through your cash registers as large sections of the buying public (also known as "customers", by the way) realise just what a thoroughly ludicrous brand A&F really is. Hopefully, anyhow.
Personally, I'm seriously considering a bit of brand reverse psychology in a similar vein by squeezing myself into a horrendous candy pink Juicy Couture two-piece and hot footing to their HQ. Once there, I'll get settled into their, undoubtedly chavtastic, reception area and start quoting gushing spigots of Balzac and resolutely refuse to drop my H's until they throw me out on the street and ban me from wearing their gear ever again.
I can see the headlines now: "Juicy Couture in Culture Shock: woman arrested for crimes against velour".
Ah, it'll never happen... I could no more pick up my H's than fit my arse into a pair of Abercrombie and Fitch cut-downs. Bah!
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