GREEN SWIMMING: writing and poetry by Kirsty
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Wealth hazard

11/24/2016

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Earlier this week, two women were robbed in their car near Paris. Not the most shocking of news, until you discover the women (sisters from a wealthy Qatari family whose identities have not been made public), were carrying with them in that car (a Bentley) somewhere between £4-£4.5m-worth of valuables. 

Hot on the heels of Kim Kardashian's Parisian apartment heist and last year's raid on Jensen Button's St. Tropez holiday home, the mega-rich may be forgiven for considering France a somewhat hostile destination; even if the rest of us still flock to the Paris and resorts all over the country following terror attacks in the capital and Nice. 

As any mediaeval peasant living under the iron grip of their feudal lord would attest, public displays of wealth are nothing new. Although many publicity-shy billionaires keep their chattels firmly under wraps, the rise of the super-celebrity coupled with social media tropes such as 'Rich Kids of Instagram' have created a shop window attracting a very sinister breed of viewer, one quite apart from the usual harmless, breathless enviers of shiny baubles and supercars. 

Violent criminal gangs have carried out several attacks on the road between Le Bourget airport, just north of Paris. In addition to the sisters mentioned earlier, in summer 2014 the convoy of a Saudi prince was robbed of €250,000 and, in April last year, an east Asian art collector lost jewels worth €4m. 

How these attacks were planned isn't clear, although Le Bourget is well-known as a business airport serving a large percentage of high net worth individuals among its clientele. By contrast, Kardashian's experience was touted as the result of having 'advertised' her jewels in a series of images posted to her social media accounts. 

The roar of disapproval was instant; headlines in both The Telegraph and The Independent were quick to publish comments made by the Parisian police department suggesting Kardashian had been targeted after posting photographs on twitter and Instagram of a 20 carat diamond ring and her diamond-encrusted mouth grille days four before the attack.

If Kardashian 'flaunts' her wealth as avidly as it would seem the Qatari sisters conceal theirs, are their respective robberies a sign that having great wealth, privilege or fame, and the physical evidence of such, brings with it the consideration of managing who gets to see it, then determining the level of threat they may pose?

Widespread reports of individuals targeted specifically for high-value personal items began circulating almost twenty years ago following a spate of street robberies in west London. Among the most well-known victims was Slavica - then-wife of Formula One boss Bernie Ecclestone - robbed of a ring worth up to £700,000 outside her Chelsea home in 1997. 

It may be no co-incidence that 1997 was the year social media was born, with the launch of contact network-based Six Degrees. 

Since then, we've been busy putting our lives online; there are currently estimated to be around two billion active social media accounts. A window into the lives of others is as easy as any other online task - from paying our bills to seeing what our ex is up to in one simple step. 

Those with the most money to burn - typically tendering in pounds, dollars, roubles, RMB's or riyals - likely started off their social media existence in the same way the rest of us did; connecting with close friends, family and near acquaintances. Social media platforms diversified, in line with online content expanding exponentially. There began a trend towards images over written content, as evidenced by the popularity of platforms such as twitter and its mean 140 characters per tweet rule and Instagram where no-one had to know anyone in the real world but could simply 'follow' them. 'This is useless without pictures' became an often-used phrase. Everyone was able to see everyone else's stuff at random - or, more importantly, at will. 

When you own or experience things of significant (and subjective) monetary worth, the temptation to show 'n' tell can be difficult to resist. It's writ, tellingly large, even at the most basic level. How many photos of glasses of champagne, palm tree-fringed beaches, crystalline swimming pools under a far-flung sun or hands bearing recently-presented engagement rings have caused you an internal groan while idly scrolling though your Facebook feed?

At the super-rich end of things, however, the need to 'show' explodes into a Croesus-like obsession with the amassing of valuables. They appear no more than fleeting whims; boiled sweets in a fistful of gems, a Lamborghini for every day of the week when your chauffeur always drives, and a home on every continent when you never leave Beverly Hills.

Thus, you show... and show.... and show, until one or two shady characters among your (in Kardashian's case, 49 million) twitter followers start wondering how easy it would be to relieve you of the undoubted weight of that 20 carat diamond. They know they could never sell it, but they could definitely use it as collateral on a large-scale deal. Or maybe they did it because you showed too much? The latter explanation doesn't seem plausible, as violent criminal gangs rarely execute such robberies in the name of envy alone. 

Whether by accident or design, the very wealthy advertise that wealth every day: by rote of a Mayfair address, a £200,000 supercar on the drive, by carrying a £15,000 Hèrmes Birkin handbag, by a non-executive directorship of a FTSE100 company and by regular appearances in the society pages of any number of glossy publications. They're all showing, so you can bet your last custard cream someone's watching. 

If you're in a chauffeured Bentley on the road to an airport well-known as a hub for the monied elite, the chances are there's also collection of Louis Vuitton luggage (a small suitcase starts at around £1,600) in the boot. You're showing, even if you think you're not. 

If you're out and about in west London wearing the national debt of a small African kingdom on your finger, you're definitely showing. 

And, when 49 million people can see your diamond-encrusted mouth grille and 20 carat diamond ring, you're showing in the most obvious way possible. 

Of course, scorn should be reserved entirely for the perpetrators of robberies and violent crimes involving the theft of valuables from anyone, regardless of their status. An interesting development is the shift towards sentiments of blame upon the victim, even within the wealthy elites' own circle. Karl Lagerfeld (a man otherwise wholly protected from reality in his own unearthly bubble) when questioned on Kardashian's robbery replied; "... Kim cannot display wealth then be surprised when she is robbed". Other murmurings among the rich and famous have been similarly bent. 

The determination to amass wealth, to keep it for yourself and do no good with it stings the watching majority. The hazards of wealth are not restricted only to the worst-case scenario of violent criminals running your car off the road on the way to the airport, or tying you up to fear for your life in a luxurious Parisian apartment.

The far more common and increasingly loudly-voiced hazard of wealth is that, as greater numbers of people all over the world become poorer, the gap between those with and those without is thrown into ever-sharper relief.

When even Karl Lagerfeld can see that it's probably time to consider exactly why you need yet another, well, anything and more so, why you need to show the rest of the world that you have it.
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Wint-ahhhh

11/4/2016

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As one season trembles on the cusp of another I, squirrel-like, begin preparations for the deep chill and muted atmosphere of winter; when the snow tamps down all noise in a natural attempt at sound insulation and the world falls a little quieter. 
 
I adore the preparation that comes with the notion of ‘gathering in’; stockpiling ever-stranger chutneys (“That’ll be lovely with some leftover turkey”), madly panic-buying real beeswax candles in fizzing excitement of surrounding them in an entirely unoriginal festive tableaux among collected pine cones (solidly tapped on the doorstep to encourage any resident bugs to move along) and freshly-cut holly from the garden.
 
As the days shorten, I feel my internal rhythms begin to settle into a comfortable, familiar pattern that suits me far better than popular ideals of getting the most out of the few sunny days we’re bestowed by heading for the beach. UK beaches in summer fill me with dread, and not only owing to bikini paranoia. I can’t bear crowds, I’m terrified by the mere thought of swimming in the sea and find it really hard to consider it ‘cute’ when boisterous children kick sand over my picnic.
 
Warmer months also bring mosquitos; my most hated creature in the entire world. Years of experimentation have resulted only in a plethora of rashes from both chemical and natural repellents, alcoholic poisoning from ingesting vast quantities of gin and tonic (any excuse, eh?) and long, hot screaming nights of utter frustration at why the nasty little bastards seem so keen on me.
 
Autumn and the delicious slide into winter brings relief, calm and renewal of the long-held belief that I should move to a far northern land where winter conditions prevail in a near-perpetual state of hushed serenity.
 
My sensibilities towards colour change in winter – with usual predilections for a muted palette of greys and creams, and textural cravings towards bark, smooth silks and crisp linen turning toward a want for deep jewel tones, wools, velvets and chunks of dense, carpet-like moss which, luckily, grows in abundance in my north-facing garden.  
 
Winter means open fires for a truly all-round sensory experience. From getting your hands on the bare components, laying down the kindling and selecting the choicest logs from the woodpile, right through to watching the cat luxuriate contentedly in the warmth and glow, listening to the crackle and hiss, the fragrance of wood smoke (often attempted, though never equalled by perfumers), can also be smelled and tasted as the mellow scent wreathes around the room, lingering as a whisper of itself the morning after. 
 
The chilled white wines of summer are replaced with bottles of red; heavy with aromas of dusty velvet curtains, tobacco and warm leather, and chosen according to a scale of importance ranging from expert tasting notes to the whimsy of the picture on the bottle (with the latter usually winning out).

The woollens come down from the attic to be satisfyingly de-bobbled and folded with reverence bordering on the holy. I buy cashmere year-round and never pay full price for it, seeking out gems on auction sites and in summer sales – with the added bonus that many shops are air-conditioned, providing respite from both the heat and the mozzies as I peruse the offerings and day dream of winter.
 
Thus, in celebration of the approach of my no. 1 season, I give you a few of my favourite things to buy for yourself or to give as gifts. All of these lovely things are guaranteed to turn you into a winter lover just like me. 
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Bronte blankets, homeware and fashion
British-made, all wool blankets, homeware and fashion textiles since 1837. Eco-friendly and fully recyclable products. I have several of their blankets. They're warm, practical and I love how visiting friends always end up snuggled up on the sofa with them. 
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Gold & Black Candles
100% natural beeswax candles, handmade in Dorset. Ethical, small-batch makers using recyclable packaging and guaranteeing no nasty ingredients such as palm oil. Bees need all the help they can get, and these guys are definitely doing their bit. 
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Cashmere (pre-loved)
Buy it in the summer, preferably in a heatwave to obtain the best possible price! eBay is a great source, but prices are rising as more people cotton onto the fabulous qualities of pure cashmere knitwear. Also look out for good quality silk and cashmere mix pieces. Follow the care instructions to ensure your cashmere looks great for years to come. 
The Essex Serpent by Sarah Perry
There's not much better on a cold winter's night than curling up with a wild tale. The Essex Serpent, a story of a fantastical creature, terrorising residents living along the shores of the Blackwater Estuary in Victorian times is just the thing for anyone with a love of gothic literature. 

The aptly named Serpent's Tail is an imprint of independent publishers, Profile Books, so ordering from them (or, indeed, buying from your local independent bookseller) is one way to ensure the longevity of small bookshops and publishers.
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Cheeseworks of Cheltenham
All this talk of wine brings me oh-so neatly to the cheese to go with it!

Cheeseworks are a family-run business offering all the cheese you could ever want - both from their beautiful shop in the heart of Cheltenham as well as by post. How convenient! 

You can build your own cheese hamper or choose from a selection of ready-made hampers, and also buy everything from crackers and cheese boards to ports, wines and beers specially chosen to go with your cheese. 

Mine's the Cornish Yarg, thanks!
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Tinsmiths
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This fabulous purveyor of quality fabric, homewares and artist prints is a treasure trove of unique and utterly covetable items from all over the world selected for their style and artistry, as well as their ability to withstand years of use and still remain beautiful. 

I especially love their furnishing fabrics and cushions (the kilim designs are particularly wonderful), and the selection will leave you with one big problem; which to choose?
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Percheron Shiraz Mourvèdre
I don't proclaim to be any kind of expert on wine, but I have a few firm favourites of which this South African beauty is one. 

It's just the thing for accompanying hearty winter dishes  and also works well with cheese. 

Kwoff, the website I've linked to, are a family-run business who, like me, love Tuscany and although this particular wine isn't Tuscan, there's something familiar in the flavour that makes me think of some of those 'super Tuscan' wines.

As Kwoff's own review says, it has a certain smokiness, which definitely gets me thinking of Christmas, open fires and cracking open a great big lump of Pecorino cheese to share with friends and family as the festive season gets going. 

It's also reasonably priced for such a decadent-feeling wine at £6.99 a bottle.
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Tuscan dreams....
Back to Tuscany again, this time for the luxuriously aromatic offerings from Erbario Toscano, a treasure trove of evocative fragrances, beauty and body products and home scents. 

My favourite for the winter months is their black pepper ('cuore di pepe nero) perfume and body balm. It's considered a masculine fragrance, but the woody, spicy scent isn't overpowering and works well for women who prefer something with a little more spice than typical feminine floral notes. 

You can order online for UK delivery, but I'll be stocking up on gifts at their shop in Lucca on my pre-Christmas trip!

The products are very reasonably priced, with a big 100ml bottle of fragrance at €52.00. 
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Don't forget your pet!
As a recent convert to living with a cat (I almost wrote 'cat ownership', but everyone knows that doesn't exist), I'm now busily concerned with the process of making sure his every whim is catered for, and he has absolutely everything he needs to be happy.

This 'cat cave' by the aptly-named maker LoveCatCaves on etsy is surely the bees knees for your furry friend's ultimate comfort and, more importantly, privacy. Those secretive little pussy cats do love their small, dark spaces, don't they?
I do not accept any form of payment or reward for mention of any of the products or services named in my blog.
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    random rants and rambling reflections.

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